The Row Page 28
“I couldn’t go without you.” His skin pales, and he leans back against the stretcher again. He gently prods his forehead and winces. “They just took your mom on the other one. Will you ride over with me?”
“Yes, please.” My desperation to make sure Mama is okay overrides my fear of finding out she might not be. The paramedics lift Jordan’s stretcher into the ambulance.
I get myself in and seated, and my whole body trembles as I try to tell myself that Mama will be fine. As the paramedic is about to hop in and close the door, Jordan’s dad runs up and grabs the handle.
“I’ll lead the way,” he says with a glance at Jordan before looking over at me. “We’ll get you back to your mother as fast as we can.”
Jordan frowns like he thinks he heard him wrong. “Wait, you—you’re coming?”
Mr. Vega nods, his voice gruff with emotion. “I want to be there … with you. I asked Detective Jackson to take over processing the scene.”
Jordan still looks startled, but he finds the words he needs to say. “I—thank you, Dad.”
“I love you, Jordan—always,” he says quietly, before shutting the door and jogging over to his car.
38
I STAND BESIDE BRAYS BAYOU in Mason Park and let the warm breeze ruffle my hair. Jordan stands on my left, his hand curled around mine. Four days later, some of the swelling on Jordan’s face has started to go down. He wears a boot on his foot and will probably have a scar forever from the stitches up the right side of his forehead. When I look at him he smiles wide, and it feels like everything may honestly, truly be okay.
Today would’ve been Daddy’s last day if he’d stayed in prison. Tonight, just after midnight, would’ve been the time of Daddy’s execution. Instead, he’s already gone, and I stand here mourning everyone that I’ve lost.
Reaching in my pocket, I pull out the bag containing my paper chess set and clench it tight in my hand. My fingers tremble as I reach in and draw out a few pieces.
I stare out across the water and scatter white paper pawns into the air as I whisper the names: “To Maren Jameson, Sarah Casey, Hillary Vanderstaff, Valynne Kemp. We’ll never forget what you lost.”
Reaching back into the bag, I pull out the white king. I kiss it before releasing it. “And to Benjamin Masters. Thank you for sacrificing everything to keep us safe.”
The white king catches an updraft and disappears against the sky. I stop watching, happy with the idea that it may never land. Jordan squeezes my hand and finishes, “Rest in peace.”
I glance back at the car and see Mama watching us closely from the front passenger seat. She was released from the hospital less than an hour ago. The surgeon stopped her internal bleeding, and she’s improving daily, but nothing but time will heal the multiple broken bones, cuts, and bruises everywhere. Until then, she’s on strict orders to stay off her feet for the next several weeks.
Still, when I told her I wanted to come say goodbye, she asked me to do it on our way home from the hospital so she could be with me. Even after I told her she’d have to stay in the car and rest, she said she didn’t care. She just didn’t want me to be alone.
I’d almost lost her. I’d almost been without her forever. Today, when I’m so grateful that I’m not alone, it’s impossible to say no to a request like that.
She gives me a small wave and a weak smile, but her skin is still so pale it scares me.
Jordan gives me a tight hug and then moves back toward the car. “I’ll go make sure your mom is comfortable.”
I hesitate, knowing that I’m not done here. “I’ll be right behind you. Just give me one more minute.”
When Jordan stops and his eyes linger on mine, he seems to understand. Once he gets to the car and opens the door, I hear him say something to Mama so low I can’t hear him. She laughs in response, and I smile to myself.
Reaching again into my plastic chess bag, I carefully remove the black king from the paper chess set and hold it tight in my hand.
I think for a minute before saying the only thing that can possibly match all of my confusing emotions. “To you, Daddy. I’ll always love and remember the part of you that never forgot to write me letters, didn’t let me win at chess, and will always love me forever. I hope you find the peace you’re looking for, too.”
Then I lift my palm to the sky, opening my fingers. The tiny piece flutters on the wind and eventually lands on the water. It floats lazily across the bayou until it slips beneath the lapping ripples and sinks out of sight. As I turn back toward the car, Daddy’s voice echoes through my head one final time.
Checkmate.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
THIS BOOK WOULDN’T EXIST without a specific TV show. I got the idea while watching Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. The program did a segment on the percentage of the U.S. population that is in prison (1 percent of all adult males), and I started thinking about how underrepresented the children of those prisoners are in fiction. So John Oliver started all of this, and I thank him for that.
Thank you to my mom and my sister, Krista, for always supporting me and reading all the books. I love you. Thanks to Bill, Eric, Amanda, and Matt for all of your love and excitement. Thanks to my husband, Ande, and our boys, Cameron and Parker. You make me happy each and every day. My heart is yours.
To my Forever Agent Mafioso, Kathleen Rushall—you are the reason any of these ideas hit the shelves. Thank you for always buying into my shenanigans.
To my fantastic editor, Angie Chen, thank you for truly understanding me and my stories and sharing my love for fluffy feline creatures. You made this story something I’m proud of. Thank you to Janine O’Malley for seeing the shine in the story and helping it land in a great place. Thanks to Simon Boughton and Joy Peskin for making me feel like I belong. Andrew Arnold, you are a visionary genius and I feel so lucky to have you putting a face on my stories. Thanks to Nicole Banholzer for fielding weird publicist questions and always being willing to help. Thanks to Katie Fee and Caitlin Sweeny for helping people hear about my stories. And massive thanks to the rest of the team at FSG: I wish I could send you cookies every day so you would understand how much I appreciate every little thing you do.
My dearest friends in the world are writers. They are the reason I am (mostly) still sane. All my love to my girls: Renee Collins, Bree Despain, Natalie Whipple, Sara Raasch, Kasie West, and Candice Kennington. I’ll never stop being grateful to all of you for being in my life. And for the other kindred authors nearby and around the globe who make this community the best—Nichole Giles, L. T. Elliot, Jennifer Bosworth, Jessica Brody, Marie Lu, Brodi Ashton, Morgan Matson, Jessica Khoury, Emmy Laybourne, J. Scott Savage, Leigh Bardugo, Gretchen McNeil, Tera Lynn Childs, Anna Carey, and so many others. I feel so lucky to call you all my friends.
Amazing author groups abound, and I’m grateful for my fellow Lucky 13s, the Friday the Thirteeners, the Binders Full of YA Writers, and the YA Scream Queens. Thank you for walking this path beside me.
Thanks to my weekly critique group, the Seizure Ninjas, for helping me whip all these words into shape. Janci Patterson, James Goldberg, Heather Clark, Michelle Argyle, Heidi Summers, Christopher Husberg, Cavan Helps, Leeann Setzer, and Megan Grey—I’m so happy I found you!
I’ve saved the best for last: thank you to my wonderfully amazing readers. Each email, tweet, and piece of fan art makes me excited to keep writing more stories. You’re the best. Thank you for taking time out of your busy lives for my books.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
J.R. Johansson is the author of Insomnia and Paranoia. In researching for Cut Me Free, she found several stories about human trafficking which fueled her conviction to join the fight against it. J.R. Johansson lives on the foothills of the Utah mountains with her two young sons and a wonderful husband. You can sign up for email updates here.
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CONTENTS
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Copyright
Farrar Straus Giroux Books for Young Readers
175 Fifth Avenue, New York 10010
Text copyright © 2016 J. R. Johansson
All rights reserved
First hardcover edition, 2016
eBook edition, October 2016
fiercereads.com
The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:
Names: Johansson, J. R., 1978– author.
Title: The row / J. R. Johansson.
Description: First edition. | New York: Farrar Straus Giroux, 2016. | Summary: After visiting her father on death row for twelve years, seventeen-year-old Riley is determined to find out if he is guilty or not before he is either executed or retried and, perhaps, released.
Identifiers: LCCN 2016001907 (print) | LCCN 2016024166 (ebook) | ISBN 9780374300258 (hardback) | ISBN 9780374300265 (ebook)
Subjects: | CYAC: Fathers and daughters—Fiction. | Prisoners—Fiction. | Serial murderers—Fiction. | Dating (Social customs)—Fiction. | Family life—Texas—Fiction. | Houston (Tex.)—Fiction. | Mystery and detective stories. | BISAC: JUVENILE FICTION / Law & Crime. | JUVENILE FICTION / Family / Parents. | JUVENILE FICTION / Mysteries & Detective Stories.
Classification: LCC PZ7.J62142 Row 2016 (print) | LCC PZ7.J62142 (ebook) | DDC [Fic]—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016001907
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eISBN 9780374300265